Christmas Break

I finished the semester! Woohoo! I am leaving to go visit my family in Massachusetts tomorrow. I'll be gone for almost 3 weeks and I'll get to see my family and celebrate Christmas. I have a bunch of fun things lined up and I am very excited to see all the people I love. It is hard living far away from home. I have some amazing friends that live on the easy coast and I miss them a lot. I don't get to be as much a part of people's lives as I wish I could. Some of my friends have babies that I have never even met. It makes me sad to think about it, but it also makes the time I do get to share with them so much more special.

I don't want to deviate too far from the point of this blog. I sent an email to a fabulous contact I made at the NCRA convention in Las Vegas, Nancy Varallo, who has a court reporting business in Massachusetts and I am going to see if I can sit out on a depo or two while I'm there. I haven't heard back from her yet, but hopefully I will.

I'll keep you posted.

Possible Pass?

I turned in a possible pass for my 180 4-voice test today. I don't feel that great about it, though. I found 23 errors myself and I am allowed 23, so, there is no cushion. The mistakes I made were so insignificant they would never matter in real life. For example, I wrote "I spilled mop water on the floor" and it should have read, "I spilled THE mop water on the floor." GRRRRR things like that drive me nuts. They just don't matter, so why should I get penalized for them in school?

I have one more day left after today and then, vacation! I am trying to remain focused. It is hard. I am so burnt out and frustrated. I could use some support from my friends, but they picked now to start completely ignoring me. Are we in high school? What the heck? I'm 30 for Pete's sake! Honestly, I don't have the energy to deal with that. I am leaving on a trip back east to see my family at Christmas and I have a million things to do before I get there.

The school is having a holiday party today. Hopefully it will take my mind off that test that is sitting in the box waiting to be graded. Keep your fingers crossed.

Losing It

I have remained very positive this whole semester at my new school. I have not been upset when I miss a test by just a few tiny things, instead, I have been happy that I am so close. I have not let it bother me when a classmate passes a test that I've been trying so hard to get. I've been happy for them....well, now I'm getting mad. What is wrong with me? Why can't I do it? I work harder than most people. I drive farther, I practice more, I transcribe more tests. What's going on???? When is my time? Maybe I'm just burnt out about the end of the semester and I just need a break.

Everybody learns differently, and apparently I take longer to learn court reporting than most people. It's hard for me to accept that because I've always been the type of person who picks up on things easily, and now I'm not. It makes me feel dumb and I hate it.

Any words of encouragement?

Gotta Power Through

It's almost Christmas and the semester is almost over. It is getting harder and harder to get myself up, dressed, and fight traffic to make it to school. I've been really good. I have hardly missed any days, and when I did, I had excellent reasons, but now I feel like I've earned a day or two of slacking. Didn't I? ugh.... No! I'm so close.

I have a week and a half left and I am trying my hardest to finish strong and pass one more test before the end of the semester. I have come very close on some tests, missing only by punctuation and word endings. I CAN do this. I CAN.

It can be very frustrating watching friends and classmates skip class, show up late, leave early, and then pass a test, while I'm still sitting here working my ass off and making very little progress. I know I'm not suppose to compare myself to others but, how can I not? What is wrong with me? Everyday I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. Everyday I have moments of clairvoyance and then they pass. Does that happen to anyone else?

Okay enough whining, Helen. Get your ass in gear and do it. Just do it. I have an hour before my next goal test and I'm gonna practice the whole time. Wish me luck.